Why Do I Do This

I have done it again; I have put myself in a situation where I am tearing myself apart. The thing is, this time I don’t feel upset, I feel apathetic. I know I do wrong and I know what is right, but I object. I try to show other people they are wrong but then I end up doing what is wrong in my eyes. I haven’t done anything drastic, I’m not a bad girl. I just…why?
I have my ideal perfection and I just kill it off. One day I’m going to lose that and wonder why the hell I didn’t treat it with respect? Why do I just shrug off my love when I want it so badly? I am constantly pushing away the things I love, turning my life into a drag. A drag that seems to catch on everything I pass and it builds up until I break down.

Every time.

I know it’ll get better, I am not stupid… I just don’t understand myself at all.
SCREW TEENAGE YEARS! Ha ha ha. I am such a douche

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Well HEY

I haven’t posted on here in a longĀ time.

I have been good, then bad, then good, then wow. I have changed a lot. I just had to change my description from myself from “I have high hopes and an open mind- a better person in the making (:” because I hated it. What was I even thinking?
I am forever fighting now, but for good reasons. Fight those demons, right?
So yeah. I’M BACK, BABY.